The Journals of Hermione Snape
by L'Vanna
Summary: Severus finds Hermione's journals after her death. Reading her words brings back to him the memories of their lives together. A continuation of I Will Be Waiting. OOC Ch. 6 now betad
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe is the sole property of JK Rowling. I am making NO MONEY from this story. I just borrowed her characters to play with them!

Chapter 1

It had only been two weeks since she had been laid to rest in his family cemetery. Two weeks since he last held her, two weeks since he heard her voice, it may as well been forever. Now he stood in front of the door leading to her study, he was hesitant about entering, her presence permeated the house it would only be more so in this room. He rarely entered her study, as she in turn rarely entered his own. Those two rooms were, by mutual agreement, their own private space.

His hand grasped the doorknob as he turned it and pushed open the door, the first thing that hit him was that the room smelled like Hermione. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply the scent that lingered heavily in the air reminding him, once again, of his loss.

As he stepped further into the room, he looked towards the fireplace; on the wall above was a portrait of them, painted during the first year of their marriage. She was so young, so beautiful back then, he watched as the younger version of himself held Hermione tightly in his arms. The smile on her face caused his heart to ache; he missed her more, than he ever thought possible.

His eyes roamed around the room until they rested upon her desk; behind it were her overstuffed bookshelves. The books on one shelf, however, were not the ones he had seen there before. Plucking the first book from the shelf he saw it was dated the year they were engaged, apparently she had kept a journal for each year of their marriage. His hands were trembling as he touched the fine leather cover; the initials H.G. were carved into the cover. He moved to sit in her chair when he noticed the parchment peeking out of the pages, as he pulled it out he saw his name written in her handwriting.

He stared at it for countless minutes, almost afraid to open it and read her words. Taking a deep breath he unfolded the parchment, it was dated over a year ago just weeks after they she was diagnosed. He read her words to him…

_My dearest Severus,_

_As you have discovered I charmed my bookshelf containing my journals so no one (including you my love) would discover them until my death. The book you have found this letter in is the first of many, I kept one for each year we were married…my word that is a lot of books! They contain my thoughts, memories and though the words fall short, all the love I have for you and our family._

_They are yours to read now, my Love. I hope the memories they stir will help ease the pain of my passing._

_When it's your turn to join me beyond the veil I want these books left to our children. I think they are now more then old enough to read some of what they contain and that they in turn will pass them on to their children. Perhaps they should be in the Snape Family Library so all our descendents will know what a wonderful life we had together, and how much we loved each other._

_Just remember, my Love, I am waiting for you._

_Your loving wife,_

_Hermione _

Severus folded her letter and placed it in the pocket of robe. Looking one more time at the portrait, Hermione was smiling at him as she nodded. Taking the book in hand, he left her study and headed towards his own.

A/N:

This story is a continuation of I Will Be Waiting. The rating may change in future chapters. Updates will be sporadic depending on what my muse wants me to write on any given day…or when inspiration hits me with a 2 x 4 with a new idea for the next chapter. The title may also change as I'm not too thrilled with this one…any suggestions on a new title are VERY WELCOME!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – From the Beginning

Severus sat in his comfortable chair in front of the fire. A portrait of Hermione, painted a few months after her diagnosis, had not yet awakened. Pouring a glass of Firewhiskey from the decanter on the side table, he took a sip and opened the journal to the first page.

OoOoOoOoOo

_30 June 1999_

_Dear Friend,_

_I have the most wonderful news—Severus asked me to marry him! Of course, I said YES. Why would I not? I'm absolutely in LOVE with him and have been for quite a while now._

_It was so romantic. I know, Severus and romantic just don't seem to go together, but to me it was the most romantic moment of my life. He took me out to a wonderful dinner and afterwards we walked around the lake at Hogwarts. We were at the far end of the lake when he found an old log and Transfigured it into a bench for us to sit on. The lake was calm, the stars bright, and the half-moon gave off just enough light for us to see each other as he held me close and kissed me thoroughly._

_Did I ever tell you his kisses make my toes curl and my knees weak? Sometimes I wish I hadn't vowed to remain a virgin until I was married._

_Anyhow, there we were in this romantic setting, Severus snogging me senseless, when suddenly he stopped and brought his hand to my face, caressing it softly as he started speaking to me. He told me how beautiful I was and that I made him feel things he never thought he would be able to feel again. Then he took out a small velvet-covered box from his robes and did something that was so clichéd and old-fashioned I almost laughed. He went down on one knee and said, "Hermione, my love, you have brought a light into my world that I find myself unable to live without any longer. I know I am unworthy of you, that you can do much better than my tainted soul. However, I am unwilling to give you up. I want to keep you to myself. Hermione, would you do me the great honour of becoming my wife?"_

_I could see the fear in his eyes, as if I would say no to him…silly man. When I answered yes, the relief was clearly written on his face. The ring is so beautiful; it's a large emerald set in platinum with two half-moon-shaped diamonds on each side. Severus said it is a Prince family heirloom. His grandfather gave it to his grandmother when they became betrothed. I will wear it proudly to let everyone in the world know that I am to be Mrs Severus Snape._

_Oh, Merlin…I can only imagine how Harry and Ron will take this news. You remember how they were complete prats when I told them I was dating Severus. Maybe I should just let them know by owl. I will let you know how it goes._

_H.G._

OoOoOoOoOo

Severus stared into the fire as he recalled that night so many long years ago. He should have known that even then she could read him like a book. He remembered how nervous he was. They had been dating for almost two years and had talked of their future together several times. It was a decision he had mulled over for weeks until he decided the time was right to ask for her hand in marriage. It was also, he concluded, the best decision he had ever made in his life.

Turning to the next page, Severus continued reading her words.

OoOoOoOoOo

_3 July 1999_

_Dear Friend,_

_I told Harry and Ron today; to say they didn't take it well is an understatement. Ron let loose his usual overly loud invective regarding Severus. As I expected, they yelled rather loudly, wanting to know if I had gone completely nutters, among other things. What Harry said, though, hurt the most and was the final straw for me. He said, "If you insist on going through with this ridiculous marriage, Hermione, consider our friendship over." I asked Ron if he felt the same way, and when he said he did I told them both I was sorry they felt that way and said good-bye to both of them, turned around, and left._

OoOoOoOoOo

Severus took a sip of his drink, his thoughts going back again to those days. Hermione had never told him exactly what they had said, just that she wouldn't be seeing either Harry or Ron for quite some time. If he had known then, he would have hexed them both for hurting her that way.

OoOoOoOoOo

_The choice was easy to make. I love Severus, and he loves me. I intend to spend the rest of my life with him. If my happiness and our friendship means so little to them that they would force me to choose one or the other, then they were never really my friends at all. I know my parents will be glad for us; they can see how happy I am with Severus. Minerva will be thrilled, I'm sure; she always smiles when she sees us together. If anyone else—Remus, Tonks, Kingsley—has a problem with us marrying, then they need not bother with me again._

_Well, I must be going now. The London Symphony is playing tonight and Severus purchased tickets for us to attend. I cannot wait to go; it's been years since I went to the symphony. I hope he likes the dress I bought for the occasion!_

_H.G. _

OoOoOoOoOo

Severus spent several hours reading until one of his house-elves appeared to inform him that dinner was ready. As he placed a piece of parchment in the journal to mark his place, Severus looked up once again at the still sleeping portrait of Hermione. With a sigh, he stood and made his way to the dining room. 

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed and sorry this took so long also thanks to Mamacita for the beta work!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Setting The Date

As Severus sat on his bed reading the latest issue of _Potions Monthly_, he was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Enter."

The door opened to reveal his daughter, Stephanie, her resemblance to his Hermione even more evident as she grew older.

"Hello, Father, I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I went to bed."

"Why would I not be okay?"

"Well, you did say you found Mum's journals and I was worried that..."

"That I would be upset by my discovery? I'm fine, Stephanie, I have not made any surprising discoveries about your mother."

"I was just worried, Father," she said again as she looked at the picture of her mother on the nightstand. Severus saw the sadness in her eyes.

"I miss her, too, little one, but I'm not going to lie here and die of a broken heart. Your mother wouldn't want that for any of us."

"No, she wouldn't. I'll see you in the morning, Father," she said as she kissed his cheek and left the room.

The last thing he set his eyes upon before he went to sleep was the picture of Hermione on his nightstand.

"Good night, love."

After his usual breakfast he retrieved the journal, taking it outside to read in the unseasonably cool summer morning.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

_15 July, 1999_

_Dear Friend,_

_I ran into Minerva today in Diagon Alley. Of course you know she noticed the ring on my finger immediately, and as I stated previously, she was thrilled. She said, "It's about time Severus got off his duff and proposed." We haven't set a date for the wedding yet, but I would love to have the wedding at Hogwarts. I'll ask Severus how he feels about that._

_I haven't heard from Harry or Ron since our spat. I miss them but this time they will have to be the ones to extend the olive branch to me. Of course Ginny heard about it from the boys; they did give her an earful of their vitriol. The words disloyal, desperate, greasy git, and a few other choice words were used. Ginny said she tried to talk to some sense to them, but you know how stubborn those two can be, especially when they think they're right. She's happy for me though; I think I'll ask her to be my maid of honour. I really should contact the others and tell them the news before they all hear it through the Harry-and-Ron-run-and-tell-everyone-their-opinion-first grapevine. It does make me sad that my two, now former, best friends would turn on me so thoroughly. Fortunately not everyone shares their opinion. I do have other friends and of course I have Severus._

_H.G. (soon to be H.S.) _

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------_

Severus smiled as he recalled that conversation on where to hold the wedding. He, of course, had given in to Hermione's wishes, and Minerva had been excited about the prospect of having a wedding at Hogwarts. Remus had let him know what Potter and Weasley were saying about their engagement. Their actions had apparently hurt Hermione more than she'd let on to him.

_----------------------------------------------------------------------_

_18 July, 1999_

_Dear Friend,_

_I stopped by the Ministry today to see Tonks and Mr Weasley to tell them the big news. Tonks was excited for me; she's turned out to be a good friend and confidante, like the older sister I never had. I'm able to talk about things with her that I never could with the boys or Ginny. I'm nervous about "the wedding night", and talking to her helped dissipate some of my anxiety. I know Severus loves me and everything will be wonderful._

_My meeting with Mr Weasley was awkward at best. It seems that Ron and Harry couldn't wait to tell Mrs Weasley the news and I'm sure they gave her an earful of their poisonous view of things. I knew Mrs Weasley had always hoped that Ron and I would end up together, but it was never meant to be; we're just too different. Mr Weasley said he personally was happy for Severus and me, that we're well matched. I told him they would still receive an invite and if I didn't get a response I would understand. It's a shame that Mrs Weasley allows others to sway her opinions, especially immature boys._

_I hope she doesn't give Ginny a hard time if she agrees to be my maid of honour; it would be nice to have at least one of my childhood friends there._

_I think I'll pop over and see Severus tonight. He's been working hard on brewing the needed potions for Madam Pomfrey. Maybe he'll allow me to lend a hand. Perhaps get in a bit of snogging too?_

_Till later,_

_H.G._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Master Snape, lunch is ready, sir," said the house-elf.

"That time already?"

"Yes, Master."

"Has Septimius arrived yet?"

"Yes, Master, he's just arrived."

"We'll have lunch out here today, I think, Tizzy. Please tell my son."

"Yes, Master."

The little house-elf popped out and Septimius came out the patio door a few moments later.

"Good afternoon, Father. How are you feeling today?"

"I'm fine, Septimius. I spoke this morning to my barrister; your mother's will is in probate, and there shouldn't be any problems. Everything but a few personal bequests comes to me."

"That's good. What are you reading there?" Septimius asked as he picked up the book. "Is this one of Mum's journals?"

"Yes, she wrote in that one when we became engaged. She left me a letter stating she wanted all of her children to read them also. When I'm through with that one I'll give it to you, and you can pass it down when you're done."

"Aren't they rather I personal /I though, Father?"

"Yes, but there's nothing very intimate in this one—well, not yet, anyway. I don't know the reason why she wanted all of you to read them; she didn't say. Perhaps when her portrait awakens we'll have the answer. Now come, let's eat."

After a pleasant lunch with his eldest son, Severus retreated to his study to continue his reading.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

_31 July, 1999_

_Dear Friend,_

_Today is Harry's birthday and the first time I haven't been invited to his party. Everyone else was, though; it feels awful being purposely left out as though it's my punishment for living my life as I see fit. But I'm not going to sit here all day feeling sorry for myself! I wonder if Severus would like some company today? He said last night that he was going into the Forbidden Forest today to harvest some ingredients for the upcoming term. I think I'll Floo him and ask._

_H.G._

_5 August. 1999_

_Dear Friend,_

_We've set a date for the wedding—20 December, the day after school lets out for the hols. It will give us time for a honeymoon. Severus won't tell me where he's taking me; he wants it to be a surprise. There's so much to do, and in only four months and fifteen days Severus and I will be bound. I need to ask Ginny if she'll be my maid of honour and ask Tonks and Minerva if they can help me with the planning. I've never planned a wedding before, much less a wizarding wedding. At times like this I wish Mum and Dad were still alive. I know they're with me in spirit but it does make me sad to know they won't be there to see me get married. I'd best get going and make some Floo calls._

_H.G. _

_----------------------------------------------------------------------_

Severus sat sipping on a cup of tea wondering if it was socially acceptable at this late date to go hex Potter and Weasley for their treatment of his wife all those years ago.

Too bad Molly Weasley had passed away the previous year, otherwise he would have paid her a visit as well.

A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed, I truly appreciate it! Also, a big Thank You to, Mamacita, my wonderful beta for this story.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Early evening found Severus in his now usual spot, in his study by the fire, reading his loving wife's journals. He found an odd comfort in reading her words, in seeing their life together through her eyes. It seemed like it was only yesterday that she had been planning their wedding, not over ninety-five years ago.

_15 August 1999_

_Dear Friend,_

_Ginny agreed to be my maid of honour. She said, "To hell with what my mother, brother, and Harry think. If they don't like my being in your wedding I'll tell them all where they can bloody go." At least I still have Ginny as my friend as well as Tonks and Minerva. As Severus said, Minerva insists that we have the wedding at Hogwarts. "I'll have no arguments about it, my dear. It's long past time that Hogwarts hosted such a wonderful event."_

_She also insisted that the house-elves would prepare the dinner for our reception. I really hate to impose on them, but it's hard to say no to Minerva. I hate to admit this, but it will also make things easier since I won't have to book a place or find a caterer!_

_Ginny and I are going to go look at wedding robes in two weeks and I have to start getting an invitation list together._

_I think that's it for now. Severus and I are going out to dinner so I really need to get ready._

_Until later,_

_HG_

Severus remembered how his wife had felt about using house-elves all those years ago. It had taken several more years for her to be convinced that not all house-elves were like Dobby. Severus imagined if he were a house-elf owned by Lucius Malfoy he would want to be freed, too.

Severus looked up at the portrait of Hermione; he noted that her hands had moved from her lap to the arms of the chair. It was an indication that her portrait would awaken soon. The prospect made him both happy and sad; he knew the likeness was not a conscious being, but to be able to hear her voice and talk to her, even a painted version of her, was better than nothing.

_22 August 1999_

_Dear Friend,_

_I know it's been a week since I've written; however, Severus and I have been arguing over the invitation list for the wedding. I know he doesn't have many people he calls friend and I know he was once close with Lucius Malfoy. Okay, so I never really got on well with either Malfoy Sr. or Jr., I've yet to forgive Draco for all those years of calling me a "Mudblood", but that doesn't mean I can't tolerate them for one evening. If Lucius Malfoy does care for Severus' friendship, he will come and not cause trouble. I wonder if Severus has even told Lucius about us._

_On the plus side, at least he included his Hogwarts colleagues on the list._

_I hope we can resolve this soon, I hate arguing with him!_

_H.G._

_25 August 1999_

_Dear Friend,_

_Finally, Severus agreed to send an invitation to the Malfoys. I'm glad that's over; now I need to get him to go look for a new set of dress robes for the wedding._

_This should be fun. NOT!_

_Maybe I can get him to wear something other than black, or perhaps I should just settle for new dress robes!_

_Well, enough for now. School starts soon so our time together will be limited and I want to spend as much time with Severus as I can._

_H.G._

Placing a marker in the book, Severus set it on the side table. Picking up the glass of brandy he rose and walked over to the window seat. He had not thought of Lucius in weeks, having last seen him at Hermione's funeral.

Lucius had grown fond of Hermione over the years. Of course at first he was gobsmacked that his friend was marrying a Muggle-born, but he, Narcissa, and Draco had come to the wedding. Maybe tomorrow he'd pay his old friend a visit.

Focusing on a copse of trees in the distance, Severus left the study to take a walk in the evening air, which was cooler now that the sun was setting.

He walked toward the trees, knowing what lay on the other side of them. He should have come here sooner to make sure everything was done to his specifications. Sebastian had gone instead; the pain had been too raw a few weeks ago for Severus to do it himself. As he cleared the trees, a high wrought-iron fence and gate came into view; beyond lay the Snape family graveyard. There were only two occupants here: his mother, Eileen Prince Snape, and his wife.

He had had his mother's body exhumed many years ago and brought here, back into the wizarding world where she should have been.

Severus approached the new marker bearing his wife's name, the flowers on the ground still fresh under the Stasis Charm.

**Hermione Jane Snape, PM**

**19 Sept 1979 – 11 Nov 2094**

**Loving Wife and Mother**

He stood there looking at the plot of earth that held the physical remains of his wife.

"I miss you, Hermione," he said as a gentle wind blew around him. The scent of night-blooming jasmine, the same scent Hermione always wore, was in the air. Severus closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

The weight of his loss lightened, he walked back to the manor.

A/N: A huge thanks to my beta, Mamacita for all her hard work!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - A Visit With Lucius

The morning sky was clear, the sun chasing the slight chill of the previous night from the air. It was mornings like this that Hermione used to love, thought Severus as he sat on the patio. Picking up his quill, he composed a brief note to Lucius.

_Lucius,_

_I hope you're not too busy these days to see an old friend. Would ten this morning be convenient?_

_Severus_

He attached the note to his owl and sent him off with instructions to wait for a response.

Severus sat in the quiet of the morning, eating his breakfast and reading the _Daily Prophet_. As he sat finishing his tea, his owl returned.

_Severus,_

_You know you're always welcome to drop in any time. Ten will be fine; see you then._

_Lucius_

Severus entered his study. The portrait of Hermione had not yet awakened, but her elbows were now resting on the arms of her chair. He sat at his desk going over the latest Gringotts statement. Sensing that a bit of time had passed, he looked up at the clock and noticed it was time to head over to Malfoy Manor.

Severus stepped out of the Floo into the main hall of Malfoy Manor; Lucius greeted him with a smile. The years had been good to Lucius. He had aged regally, and the air of Malfoy superiority still clung to him like a niffler to gold, his trademark long, white-blond hair now stark white, his dress impeccable as always.

"Severus, it's so good to see you."

"Good to see you too, my friend. Have you heard from Draco recently?"

"Yes, they're in Cairo for a few weeks; then they're off to Greece. How have you been, Severus?"

"I'm doing fine, Lucius. As you can see, I haven't gone into seclusion, nor am I wallowing in the pits of despair. Hermione would have been quite disappointed in me if I'd indulged myself in such a manner."

"That, my friend, is an understatement," Lucius said as he turned and walked to the front parlour. Tea was set out on a low table in front of the settee.

"So, Severus, what's the reason for this sudden visit?"

"A need for a change of venue, someone closer to my own age with which to converse. Are those acceptable reasons?"

"You mean you miss her."

Severus let out a long sigh.

"Yes, more than I ever thought possible. I found her journals. She kept one for each year of our marriage, starting from when I proposed." Severus reached into his robe, taking out the journal in question and handing it to Lucius.

Lucius opened the book and was glancing through the pages when he suddenly let out a small laugh.

"I remember when we received the invitation to your wedding. I was quite surprised. I never knew that she'd insisted you put us on the list."

"Yes; even though at the time you weren't one of her favourite people, she knew you were one of the few of my contemporaries still alive that I called friend."

Lucius continued his perusal of the book. There was much about the witch he'd never known.

"I wish Narcissa had thought to do something like this. It would have brought me much comfort after she passed on."

"It's a mixed blessing at best. So tell me, how is young Abraxas doing?"

Severus and Lucius spent the rest of the morning talking about family, business, and the latest idiocy at the Ministry, the subject of Hermione bypassed for the moment.

"I do need to get back home. Samuel is coming for lunch today," Severus said as he rose from the chair.

"We must do this again soon, Severus."

"Perhaps next week you could grace Snape Manor with your presence?"

"I'll let you know what time to expect me."

Severus had just stepped through the Floo when Samuel entered through the front door and into the entry hall.

"Good afternoon, Father. I see I'm right on time. Did you have a nice visit with Mr Malfoy?"

"Yes, it was good to see an old friend."

The two walked to the smaller family dining room, each taking a seat at the table situated at the large bay window.

"We heard from Anna today. It seems you have another great-grandchild on the way. If it's a girl, Anna wants to name her after Mother."

Severus smiled sadly. "Your mother would have hated that. She didn't like her name. However, I think it would be wonderful. I'll have to owl Anna and Marcus tomorrow with my congratulations."

Father and son sat in the sunlit room eating and talking about family, friends, and work. Severus felt blessed that he had the family he once had only dreamed of, never daring to hope it would ever be his.

"You'll never guess who I ran into at Diagon Alley today."

"Well then, if I'll never guess you'll have to tell me."

"Seamus Finnigan. I remember Mother saying he was in her year at Hogwarts. His daughter, Colleen, was in my year."

"Finnigan, Finnigan…oh yes, I remember Mr Finnigan. Yes, he was in the same house and year as your mother."

"He heard about Mother's passing. He asked that I convey his condolences to you and the rest of the family."

"Duly noted, son."

"Have you read the latest issue of _Potions Monthly_? There's quite an interesting article about preserving the shelf life of the more sensitive potions."

Lunch passed with a rather lengthy debate about the aforementioned article. Samuel returned to his office and Severus to his study to relax and read more of Hermione's journal.

_15 November 1999_

_Dear Friend,_

_I can hardly believe that in just over a month, thirty-five days to be exact, Severus and I will be married. The arrangements have, for the most part, gone smoothly. Minerva assures me everything is taken care of at Hogwarts and that the house-elves have the menu plan for the reception well in hand. She has even taken care of procuring an official to oversee the ceremony…she won't say who it is, though._

_All the invitations have gone out and the R.S.V.P.s are returning daily. So far everyone we've invited has accepted…even the Malfoys!_

_I sent one to Ron and Harry; not that I expect to hear back from them, but it just seemed the right thing to do. Perhaps I'm just hoping they'll see how wrong they were to make me choose._

_Severus still won't give me even a hint where he is taking me for our honeymoon, but he did promise I would be pleased with his choice._

_I have so many conflicting emotions right now—I'm excited, scared, nervous…I wonder if that's normal. I really am excited to be marrying Severus. I never thought I could love someone as I love him. This will change my life, though, and that is scary, that and the honeymoon. I know the first time will be a bit painful but I don't really know what to do. You can learn just so much about this subject from a book._

_Well, I need to end this for now. I'll be writing more soon._

_H.G. _

Severus smirked as he read her words and spoke aloud to himself. "You weren't nervous for long, as I remember. You were a little wanton for a while."

"I never could get enough of you, Severus."

His head turned looking around to see where the familiar voice was coming from. "Hermione?"

"In a manner of speaking, my love," she replied.

Severus turned toward the fireplace and looked up at the portrait. Hermione had awoken.

A/N: Thank you to all who have reviewed. Sorry this has taken so long, RL just loves to get in the way of my writing.

Also, thanks to my beta, Mamacita.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - Her Portrait Awakens

The book he was holding made a soft thud as it slipped out of his hand and onto the floor as he stood up. The portrait of his late wife looked down on him with her eyes, the eyes he missed looking into every night. Her smile on the lips of her likeness, the smile she had graced him with every morning. The portrait spoke with her sweet voice, the voice he almost forgot the sound of.

"Are you feeling well, Severus?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I just…I didn't expect you to awaken just yet."

"Awaken? What do you mean?" her portrait self asked as she looked around and touched the side of the canvas. "I assume since I am in this frame that I am…" she trailed off with a sad look upon her face.

"Yes."

"How long ago?"

"Over a month ago, now."

"I'm sorry, love."

"You said that before you…before you died."

"Was I in pain, or did I pass on peacefully, as I had hoped to?"

"It was serene. I held you in my arms, you closed your eyes, and it was over."

Severus stood there, lost in his thoughts as the likeness of his late wife looked on. "What is that you were reading?"

"I found your journals and the letter you left in the first one," he said as he bent down retrieving the book. "Some of these entries have been eye opening, to say the least."

"How many have you read?"

"I'm only on the first one. I was reading the last entry before our wedding."

"Read it out loud, please, Severus."

He sighed, he knew it really wasn't his wife talking to him, but still he found it hard to deny her this simple request.

"Very well," he said as he sat down, opened the book to the appropriate page, and began to read aloud.

_Dear Friend,_

_I know I said I would write more but I've been so busy with last minute arrangements I haven't had the time._

_Tomorrow is the big day, I'm so nervous, is this normal? I wonder if Severus is nervous too._

_The next time I write in this journal I'll be Mrs Severus Snape, it still seems so surreal to me. I wonder what the future holds for us. Will we be happy together? Will we have children? Will they be happy? I have such butterflies in my stomach tonight. I hope I can make it though the ceremony tomorrow without cocking it up!_

_Yes, I know, I'm rambling and my thoughts are willy-nilly. Maybe one day when I look back through this I'll laugh at how silly I was back then._

_I would love for Ron and Harry to be there tomorrow, but I doubt they will show up. They never even replied to their invitations. Their absence will be the only shadow on tomorrow's proceedings. Why can't they grow up and just accept my choices for my life? I know I said I wouldn't let this bother me, and I am trying, but it's hard when they were a part of my life for so many years and we shared so much together._

_I know my parent's will be watching from wherever they are._

"Why did you never tell me about Potter and Weasley?"

"What good would it have done, Severus? You would have just snarked at them and to those two, in their minds, that would have proven that they were right about you. They showed me what kind of friends they really were, and I could live without friends like that."

"You could have told me about Molly Weasley, that sanctimonious, judgemental, old cow."

The likeness of his late wife laughed, "Molly was always that way. I remember when she thought that article Rita Skeeter wrote about me in my fourth year was true. The only reason I didn't tell you about Molly was because of Arthur, he would have been caught in the middle, and he didn't deserve that. He actually wished us both well and apologized to me for his wife's behaviour."

"Arthur is a good man."

"Yes, he is, too bad the majority of his son's are more like their mother."

As Severus went to close the journal, he noticed one more entry. "What's this," he said mainly to himself. On the last page, in Hermione's handwriting was a poem. It was one of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnets from the Portuguese and one of Hermione's favourites.

"You did write one more entry in this journal."

"I did? I don't remember writing anything else in that one."

"It's a poem, written on the day of our wedding."

"A poem?" the portrait asked with a quizzical look upon her face. "OH! Yes, now I remember! Sonnet twenty-seven, it reminded me of you. Let me see if I can remember how it went…"

_My own Beloved, who hast lifted me_

_From this drear flat of earth where I was thrown,_

_And, in betwixt the languid ringlets, blown_

_A life-breath, till the forehead hopefully_

_Shines out again, as all the angels see,_

_Before thy saving kiss ! My own, my own,_

_Who camest to me when the world was gone,_

_And I who looked for only God, found thee!_

_I find thee; I am safe, and strong, and glad._

_As one who stands in dewless asphodel_

_Looks backward on the tedious time he had_

_In the upper life,--so I, with bosom-swell,_

_Make witness, here, between the good and bad,_

_That Love, as strong as Death, retrieves as well. _

"It still reminds me of you."

Severus felt emotions welling up within him and had to remind himself that it wasn't really his wife up there in that frame…just a painting of her. There was something though that he needed to do in memory of his late wife, something he should have done ninety-five years ago.

"I have a few things I must attend to, I'll be back this evening and we can talk some more."

"What things, Severus?"

"Business," he said as he walked out of the room, "Personal business."

A/N: Yes, I haven't abandoned this story. I'm sorry it has been so long between updates but now with the holidays over I'll be able to give more time to my writing. Thanks to all who have reviewed and those who are still reading this story! Please let me know what you think of this chapter!

This chapter has been edited since I posted it with the beta version...thanks to Mamacita for all her help and advice!

The poem is from Sonnets of the Portuguese, Sonnet XXVII by Elizabeth Barrett Browning 1806-1861 and one of my favourites.


End file.
